The italian mother of the groom
The pampered boy and his nagging mother
Being a mother of a seven years old boy, I can state that we, Italian mothers, are intrusive, nagging and jealous. We pamper our boys and treat them as little princes. We truly believe that nobody else will ever be able to do the same for them. In all fairness to these mothers, they are probably right, for I certainly do not know any Italian woman who pampers her husband, as she pampers her son.
I started persuading my son that his future girlfriend shouldn’t be too fat or, even worse, skinnier than his mother. The poor boy will never find the perfect size wife as I keep losing weight and gaining weight, just as Penelope weaved her never-ending canvas.
So, having said this, you will easily recognize the mother of the groom during the wedding ceremony… she will be the one crying all the time, and not because of her irrepressible happiness!
She is worried that her new daughter-in-law will not pamper her little boy as she did for the last 45 years. (That’s right… Italian men get married quite late in life.)
But in reality, she is correct. Italian wives will not pamper their husbands as they do their sons. But here’s the rub. Italian women will pamper and spoil their sons – then as wives, will complain that their mother’s-in-law have spoiled and pampered their sons…. The cycle never ends.
To be honest, in over ten years experience in planning weddings, I saw “groom’s mother syndrome” in many women, it doesn’t matter where they came from; all groom’s mothers have it.
One way to minimize misunderstandings or bad moods on the wedding day, is to keep close family members involved in the wedding – especially if they are paying for it. Certainly don’t share every little decision with them, but take some of their suggestions (especially those opinions you share with them) and make them feel important – and not just feel like simple guests at the wedding. If possible, give them a small task to be done at the wedding – and reserve something special for the mother of the groom…. She’s going to be at your side for a very long time – there is no need to have her start nagging from Day One.
